101 rules of Death Metal

1. Follow the rules of Death Metal
2. Death Metallers need to have really long hair (maybe down to their ankles) or no hair at all but a long beard
3. Always add a couple of blood stains in your band logo
4. Don't you ever write satanic lyrics unless you are Glen Benton
5. Be Glen Benton
6. Use the word "Skull" instead of "School" to be brutal
7. Hate subgenres, there's nothing more than "Old School Death Metal" period
8. Always claim to be Old School, even if you don't know who Xecutioner were
9. You hate the fact that people say "Death" created the genre
10. If you have an Arch Enemy record always say the following: "They suck, but Angela Gossow is sooo hot"
11. You already sold your "In Flames" albums along with everything that it's not "Old School"
12. Try to look really pissed in photos
13. Always look at the camera, but your face must be pointing upwards or downwards
14. Be GROOOOOOOWL
15. Use the word Growl a lot
16. Tell people you lived to see the "Tape Trading" days even when you're only 15 years old
17. Use a lot…and I mean a freaking lot of Breakdowns in your music
18. Always copy the riffs of someone else
19. Jump whenever you hear the main riff of "Hammer Smashed Face"
20. Hide your Cannibal Corpse albums from your mom
21. Always end the name of your band with the postfix "Ation" (Suffocation, Immolation, Incantation, Tribulation, etc.)
22. If you can't think of any name with "Ation" replace it with "Ment" (Enthrallment, Dismemberment, Abolishment, Cadaverment, etc.)
23. Ok, let's say you still can't think of any name…there's still "Ence" for you (Abhorrence, Vehemence, Benevolence, Decadence, etc.)
24. Chances are you'll end up naming your band Disgorge anyway…
25. Fart a lot
26. Burp a lot
27. Don't have a girlfriend
28. If you have a girlfriend Burp and Fart on her nose…
29. You were a member of Death
30. People say you are(were) a member of Brujeria
31. Make sure to bring your meathook for a sodomy night
32. Be extremely GROOOOOOWL
33. End a phrase with GROOOOOOOWL
34. Don't you ever…EVER…listen to Melodeath
35. Hate Melodeath by any means
36. Melodeath is totally gay
37. You have "Heartwork" in you CD collection
38. "Heartwork" was the first Melodeath album ever released
39. Therefore you're gay
40. Then you seriously hate Swedish Death Metal…
41. Swedish Metal is totally gay
42. You have the entire Unleashed collection
43. Unleashed is a Swedish Death Band
44. Therefore you're gay
45. You still hate bands like Dark Tranquility and In Flames
46. That doesn't mean you're not gay
47. You have the amazing capability of contradicting yourself
48. Always go to concerts and leave with blood in your face
49. The blood must be of someone else's nose
50. Mosh till your arms fall out from your body
51. Mosh until your legs break in half
52. TorsoMOSH!!!
53. Erik Rutan mastered your record
54. In Death Metal orgasms always come with pain instead of pleasure
55. Hate everything that is not Death Metal
56. Hate everything that is not GROWL
57. You were never a kid
58. You were born an adult
59. Have no sense of humor
60. Pee outside the can
61. Eat nothing but read meat and things that make your body fat
62. Be fat
63. Try to be extremely fat
64. If you're not fat you are Trey Azagthoth
65. Tell a cartoonist to draw your album cover
66. Tell him you want a lot of blood and sex in it
67. Always use a lot of naked chicks in your covers
68. Those naked chicks are obviously cadavers
69. Sodomize the cadavers found in your artwork
70. Dismember the cadavers in your artwork that you already sodomized
71. Have sex with the remaining parts
72. You have to be seriously sick in the head to be a Death Metaller
73. If you don't have naked chicks available, use anything that looks like pulp for your album cover
74. The good trick comes when you use pulpified fruits that look kind of Gore
75. Name your songs after diseases that don't even exist.
76. Try to use "Semen" a lot when writing lyrics
77. "Flesh", "Skin", "Bowels" and words that sound creepy are so Brutal
78. Hate Black Metal
79. You only use Black Metal words (like "Necro") to name your band
80. You only like Philip Anselmo for being a member of "Necrophagia"
81. You maybe still respect Thrash Metal bands like Pantera and Metallica
82. Pantera used to be Glam Metal and Metallica released a Nu-Metal album
83. Therefore you're gay
84. There's no way possible for you to escape gayness
85. You don't use a Bass for layers or synchronization, you use it to make your music illegible and Gore
86. You can poo in public places
87. Never say "poo" always go with "Feces"
88. Faeces are so Br00Tall
89. For you Carcass died after "Necroticism…"
90. Always use fake blood at a concert
91. It's not Brutal, it's Br00Tall
92. Blast Beats are our friends
93. Remember to play as fast as Diarrhea
94. Hate trees, trolls, wolves, and non-Br00tall things, they're gay
95. Love guts, blood, cannibals, murder, and GROWL things, they're still gay but GROWL
96. Be Gore enough to scare kids and moms
97. Keep your Gore level down for your friends, you're still a social being
98. Download tons of porn
99. Say Hostel and SAW III were mild movies even though you almost puked in the theatre
100. Don't talk…Growl
101. Make sure you're dumb and loser enough to write 101 rules for Death Metal, in other cases, be dumb and loser enough to read 101 stupid phrases about Death Metal.

Metal Fairytale

There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights.

* POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* GRIND METAL The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

* GOTHIC METAL The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

* INDUSTRIAL METAL The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

* SPEED METAL Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

* CHRISTIAN METAL The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

* GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* BATTLE METAL The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

* NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

* EMO The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.

* GRUNGE The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.

* POP-PUNK The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't f*ck him either, because he likes ska.

Dimineti de piatra

Adormim in fiecare seara cu gandul ca maine va fi mai bine, ca ne vom trezi devreme si vom avea timp sa facem tot ce ne-am propus, fara sa intarziem pe undeva sau sa ne grabim... Se pare ca astazi nu mai tine cont lumea de proverbul "Nu lasa pe maine ce poti face azi." .. Acum e mai degraba "Nu lasa pe azi ce poti face alta data sau deloc"
Dimineata ne trezim greu, avem ochii mici, o mare durere de cap, ne gandim numa la cafea si la binecuvantat tigara de dimineata.. Tragem de timp cand bem cafeaua, dupa aia facem un dus rapid, ne schimbam si iesim pe usa..In metrou/tramvai/autobuz ne uitam in jur si vedem atatea fete posomorate.. Ne intrebam de ce.. probabil ca si ei s-au bazat pe acelasi "proverb" ca si noi...
Si cum ziua incepe prost, sunt sanse mari sa si continue la fel... De-a lungul zilei ne ciocnim de profesori isterici, colegi batuti in cap, lume morocanoasa peste tot, un trafic de toata jena, titluri de ziare care anunta cateva mii de morti, poluare, stres.. Venim acasa sleiti de puteri, scarbiti de noi si de lumea asta mizera, ne trantim pe unde apucam, ne mai relaxam putin, dupa care ne ducem la culcare cu gandul ca maine va fi mai bine...

Quiz - ce face omu' cand se plictiseste...

In a Past Life... You Were: A Brave Viking. Where You Lived: Spain. How You Died: Killed in Battle. Who Were You In a Past Life? Your Extroversion Profile: Activity Level: Medium Friendliness: Medium Excitement Seeking: Low Sociability: Low Assertiveness: Very Low Cheerfulness: Very Low How Extroverted Are You? You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. Are You Right or Left Brained? What Season Are You? Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP) Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. How Rare Is Your Personality? Your Personality Profile You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. The World's Shortest Personality Test Your Luck Quotient: 24% You have a low luck quotient. You've had a few lucky experiences, but overall, you feel like a pretty unlucky person. Good luck can come your way, but you have to be more trusting in the world. Have some new experiences. Meet some new people. You never know where luck can be lurking! How Lucky Are You? You Are Scary You even scare scary people sometimes! How Scary Are You? You Are 71% Addicted to the Internet In your opinion, life without the internet is hardly worth living. Could be, but you probably need a bit more fresh air and sunshine to think clearly. Are You Addicted to the Internet? Your Stress Level is: 69% You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times. How Stressed Are You? You Sometimes Don't Get Enough Sleep You're often more tired than you'd like, and you're probably not getting enough quality sleep. Sleeping a little more could make you a lot more energetic and happy. Try having a bedtime, keep your bedroom cool, and only eat fruit before bed. Do You Get Enough Sleep? You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment. What Temperment Are You? You Are 83% Non Conformist You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate! No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them! Are You a Nonconformist? You Are a Pessimist

If things are going good, you can always imagine how they will turn for the worse. And when things do happen to be bad, life is like a dark pit you can't crawl out of. One bad moment can ruin your day, and you think one bad week can ruin your life. Things are much better than they seem. Just take time to see everything that's going right.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Fallen Angels (creatie proprie clasa a 7a)

Freedom, white rose, friends,
Sunset, morning dew.
Just empty, useless words
For those like me and you.

We've lost our dreams, our hopes, our lives,
This icy world destroyed them all...
Just for a moment, close your eyes
And see how crimson angels fall.

We used to be like they were,
With white and magic wings,
Now we're alone out here,
Watching the cursed, yet charming beings.

We're damned to live forever,
We don't deserve to die.
My soul hurts more than ever...
We're living in a lie.

He told us we must love
And bless the faithful lords.
I look at the sky above
And curse the Liar's words.

The gates are closed for you, for me.
We don't deserve any of this.
It's wrong, I'm sure we shouldn't be
Imprisoned because of a kiss.

All we have is each other
You're holding tight to me.
And now we can afford another
Sin, to earn this way to be...

Thousand Years of Oppression
by Amon Amarth

He hung on the windswept world tree
Whose roots no one knows
For nine whole days he hung there pierced
By Gugnir, his spear

Swimming in pain he peered into the depths
And cried out in agony
Reaching out he grasped the runes
Before falling back from the abyss

He gave himself unto himself
In a world of shearing pain
Go that we all may live our lives
By the wisdom that he gained

You doubted him, and spread their lies
Across the world, with sword in hand
You raped our souls, and stole our right
All for the words of mild-mannered man

You listened to mild-mannered god
And put your faith in deceitful words
Your powertrip was paid by blood
In kindness' name you spilled our blood

I refuse to submit
To the god you say is kind
I know what's right, and it is time
It's time to fight, and free our minds

Let me die without fear
As I have lived without it
So shut your mouth and spare my ears
I'm fed up with all your bullshit

After a thousand years of oppression
Let the berserks rise again
Let the world hear these words once more
"Save us, oh lord, from the wrath of the Norsemen"

Our sprits were forged in snow and ice
To bend like steel forged over fire
We were not made to bend like reed
Or turn the other cheek

He grasped the runes, they're ours to use...

am postat versurile astea, pentru ca, pe langa faptul ca imi place melodia, versurile reflecta unele idei pe care le am in capatana asta blonda.. prefer sa nu dau mai multe detalii despre subiectul asta, ideea e ca nu sunt adepta religiei ortodoxe..